What If...

This image property of Ydnar Designs, ©2011

What If Everyone Had A Sign That Told About Themselves?

    How different would the world be? Would we avoid certain topics in conversation? If someone was divorced, would we mention to them to the new up-and-coming dating site or the new singles mixer this weekend? I'm not sure...

    What I hope to get you to think about is this--though everyone doesn't have a sign which tells their life story and experiences, the truth is everyone does have a story and does have experiences that have shaped them. Though something physical like a sign doesn't exist, every person has gone through and still goes through every day like you and I do. They see the morning, they complain about how early it is, they wish they could lay in bed all day in the warmth of their covers. Every person has experiences. 

    Sometimes I think it is easy for us as people to do something that is very dangerous: we assume things. I would give the old phrase about assuming here, but in the interest of not being crass, I shall avoid it. 

   I think assuming is a dangerous thing because it seems to imply that a person is not important enough to express how they feel or their viewpoint. For example,  what if you needed someone to draw something for you and you had no artistic talent. And what if you purposefully avoid the quiet kid in your class because you assume he certainly has no artistic skills, let alone good ones. But somehow you find out afterwards that that kid was an amazing artist, prize-winning even.  How does that make you feel about your actions?

   I hope you don't taste guilt right now. Well, maybe I do a little because I taste it a little right now. I know I've done this exact same thing in my own life. I've looked over people because I thought I knew what was best for my needs. But in the end, in my looking over them, I miss the potential of what could have been.

In short, we are all made in the Lord's image. We are all useful. Many parts but put in the same body (1 Cor. 12:12). Make sense? THE TRUTH IS WE ARE ALL USEFUL. I hope we don't need a sign to see that in people. I pray that we would have the Lord's perspective and understand that everyone, in some way, big or small, can help us, if we let them. 

The World of Christian Dating...

   There are roughly 14 million books on the subject. Okay, so 14 million may sound a little excessive. It should. It's one of my exaggeration numbers. I use it because the truth is the topic of  Christian dating is and has been talked about...a lot. But I'm curious: Is Christian dating an excessive topic?

   Maybe. Christian dating could be simply a trendy topic that everyone talks about, that it's the "cool" or "in" thing to do and discuss. Also, it could be physically excessive because, as I mentioned earlier, there are what seems like millions of books on Christian dating. If you Google this, you'll get under a million hits. The data speaks for itself...

That's over 930,000 hits in 0.22 seconds if you're eyes can squint very well.

   Truthfully, Christian dating is everywhere because of books. On the one hand, I think that's great because we're actually talking about it. I'm glad nothing is left unsaid about Christians who want to date. I'm glad our world is not treating Christians like little kids who don't know how to swim--giving them water wings, throwing them in the deep end of the pool, and hoping for the best. No, the benefit of a large number of books about Christian dating is that they give us an array of perspectives on dating as a disciple of Christ.

   If you're reading this because you think I have some answers, let me be frank: I DON'T. I'm still discovering a lot about myself and what my view of dating is and how I want to be as a potential boyfriend/spouse. If I can offer anything, it's this:

Books are good, but keep the right book first.

   You know where I'm going with this--the Bible is the best book on love. C'mon! Romans 13 anyone? Other books like Dateable and I Kissed Dating Goodbye are great tools, but I think we must keep it in check so that our ultimate authority on anything (including dating), is the holy Word of God. Any book on dating is only a supplement to the Bible.

Prayer--it works.

   Something God has developed in my own life is an attitude of prayer. What that looks like is whatever situation I face, good or bad, I take it to the Lord first in prayer. Let me issue a disclaimer: this isn't easy. You cannot nor should not do this alone. Yes, you can pray by yourself, which is great, but there is also something about praying in community with others, something that the individual prayer life can't tap into. Develop a prayer life. Read books on that, but again, consult Scripture first. Be in an accountability group. Attend seminars on spiritual growth or the spiritual disciplines. 

Knowing the power that prayer has as well as how to pray will help you in your dating process. 

   Knowledge about prayer and other spiritual growth will strengthen your dependance on God. Specifically, it opens the door for God to show you where to go if you're wondering about that friend who'd you like to be more involved with. It will also help you discover about who you are  in your eyes compared to God's eyes(this is crucial in my eyes). Knowledge about prayer and spiritual growth shows where your growth is, where it needs to go, as well as what you individually offer to any potential relationship (your giftings, etc.). Another benefit: Prayer and spiritual growth will help you actively pray for your future significant other (something I've only recently started). 

What's the key to this knowledge? Couple (pun intended) this with Scripture. Both prayer and God's Word give insights into what dating and love really are for us as followers of Christ. We receive direction from His Holy Spirit because He dwells within each of us. Prayer and studying God's Word give Him a greater avenue to work in our lives. Metaphorically, they unclog the pipes so a full stream of water can flow.

Accountability/Council: Wise people are "wise" for a reason

   Gray hair is totally a symbol of wisdom (Prov. 20:29) as well as a lifeline if a person looks to date. It shows experience; it shows mistakes; but most of all it shows growth. Wise people have not only made mistakes, but they've also learned from them.  

   But who are "wise people" anyway? Accountability groups, friends, teachers, pastors, grandparents. All of these are great people who have a different perspective on how love, relationships, work, as well as how life works. This is a crucial resource!

Conclusion

   What I hope to have done here is to give you, as a reader, some resources that could help lessen your fears of dating as a Christian. 

   In my own life, I've recently done something I never thought I had the guts to do: I asked a girl out on a date. In no way did I feel ready. But thanks to some wise council from my college pastor, I asked this girl out and had an amazing time. From then on, I've noticed growth in my own life as a Christian single in that I'm learning more about who I am as a man, who I should be as a man of God, and I am continually seeking God's help in changing what needs to change in my life. Right now, I don't think of myself as the best boyfriend ever. But let me tell you, that's who I want to be! I want to be able to offer my girlfriend or wife the best of who I am. But the weird thing is this: the best of me isn't me at all--it's God at work in and through me. If you're at this place like I am, you realize how much spiritual growth it takes to get to where we are. I praise God for how He has and is still growing me into His image, and I pray that same thing for you.

   It is not impossible to be a Christian and to date. Moreso, it's not impossible to be a Christian and have a good, thriving relationship with someone of the opposite sex. I pray that we in the faith would always have our priorities in the right order and have God laced through them and the rest of our lives. He is the person who erases impossibility. But not only that, He also provides opportunity. May we look for the opportunities God gives us, whether relationships or something else, and may we take advantage of them by listening to His guidance through his Holy Spirit.

Media Exposure...So Automatic

Alright. The new semester is in full swing, and after some flight delays, I made it to school on the third day of classes (thank goodness I only missed profs. going over the syllabi). For one of my classes this semester, Media and Society, our first assignment is to keep track of our exposure to media for six days. Going in to the class, I thought this was a semester-long assignment. So, the length of the assignment is something I'm relieved about. However, there's something that I'm troubled by since I began my record keeping a day ago: most of my media exposure comes about when I'm by myself and comes through the Internet. Also, I've found that I've been somewhat purposefully trying to avoid any and all exposure to media so I don't have to mark it down. How lame is that?

If the past day has taught me anything, it's that I don't pay a lot of attention to the media that I consume on a daily basis and shown me that I really need to.

W. James Potter, the author of one of our books for the class, speaks to automaticity as a cause for a lack of media literacy. In short, most of us drift mindlessly in our consumption of media each and every day. I'm hopeful for the rest of this experience, and a goal I have for after it's over is to pay more attention to what messages are being sent my way through the websites I view, the movies I watch, and whatever else I consume.

Here's to a good next few days...

Summer Plans...

     Over the past two weeks or so, all the while finishing project and preparing for final exams and booking my flight home to Virginia, I've been thinking a lot about summer plans. One idea is to play in one my college's summer worship teams that they send out to camps after school lets out. I signed up earlier in the year and auditions are in early January (the 12th to be exact). I'm really excited for this opportunity, and thought I've auditioned in the past and not been chosen, I'm not mad or bitter. I'm trusting the Lord with all of this, asking Him to open doors He wants me to go through and close ones He doesn't.
     Another is an internship. Now I use that term loosely because technically I'm not required to do one ( I think my Worship capstone class is close enough to one). I have the idea of interning at a nearby church, depending on other circumstances, and helping with any media they use in their services. This means sound (I want hands on with this), video (which I've never done and am not experienced in), writing for audio or video pieces (done a lot of this...thanks, Media Scriptwriting!), graphic design (done some of this as well, and I have great tools to do so, not just the Adobe programs), and other media. I think this would help me get needed experience considering my major sets me up to be a media "pastor" in a church (sans the ordination).
     What are the other circumstances? Well, considering I do not currently have my driver's license nor a car, my roommate's parent's friends offered me to stay with them over the summer and during that time teach me to drive. *GASP* That is such an amazing offer! If I choose to take this, I would try to get my "internship" near where they live.
     All of these are really good options, and I'm still considering them all. But more than my consideration, I want to submit to God's will and desire for me this summer. I appreciate your continual prayers for me in this matte. I know it is a few months away now, but I see nothing wrong with praying in advance for anything. May your days be blessed and blessed because of your dependance on God.

Advent Podcast worth checking

Hello, blog universe. It's been way too long since I've posted last. School has been full effect, and with that, certain things fall down the priority list. Sadly, this was one of those things. Anyway, I wanted to mention one of my professors, Dr. Mark Perry, has started doing a podcast around the season of Advent which we are currently in. Have a listen, comment away, and give him your feedback.

You can listen here.

Have a blessed Christmas season everyone, and I hope to keep posting over our break.

TwitteRelevant

Read an article in the Sojourn, the school's newspaper today about using Twiiter and what the point of it is. All in all, I thought it was a pretty good informative piece aimed at new people to Twitter. But what the article made me think about most was the idea of relevance.

They quoted a student who said that Twitter is really a "useless networking tool." I don't know if I would call it useless, but I could see his point. I think seeing something as useless is really only seeing the bad parts of something, in this case Twitter going the same way as Facebook, as an essential time-waster. I do believe that can happen, but at the end of the day, I believe we all have a choice as to whether or not we let that happen.

As far as relevance goes, I'd say it's really a subjective term in today's day and age. I think in order to be relevant, someone or something has to first define what relevance even is. I think society in one sense defines relevance; I think celebrities do as well; but my question is this: Why doesn't God define what our view of relevancy is?

In essence, what does God say about how we use Twitter? Why don't we have Him as our standard with which we measure relevance. If we go by society's standards of relevance, then aren't we pleasing man with our efforts?

I think I can sum up what I'm trying to say in one thought: Twitter is a resource that's been given to us by God. Let's use it for His glory.

What Is A Real Man? Wow, I'm Even Considered That...

WHEW! Nearly half of my Junior year over, and it'd been great. Busy and work-filled (not a good filling for a donut, btw) but great. I'm learning so much and it's continuously cool to see how much everything bleeds together.

Anyway, the real reason I'm back writing is that I have a lot on my mind. My accountability/small group of guys is going through Wild At Heart by John Eldredge. My mind recalls back when my youth group started to go through it, but we didn't finish. But since I've picked it up again, or as it really is bum my suitemate's copy, it's been sobering and challenging. Tonight I read the 3rd chapter about the question haunting every man. That question? "Am I a Real Man?" and "Will I come through...even when it gets tough?"

I've asked that a lot. I've struggled with self-value a lot. As Eldredge talks, I've boiled it down to my personality. But he also says that everything we need as men is inside of us, that God's put it there. Much like Easter Eggs  on DVD's. They're hidden things on a DVD (an extra scene, pictures, alternate ending, etc.--just really cool stuff): they're already there but we don't realize they are until we stumble upon them or go to somewhere (websites) that tell us how to find them. Well, there's no website to tell me where the manly things in me are, but there's a book and a Savior. There's God and His Word. That's the best I can come up with.

It's been really sobering to really look at me. It's sucked and it continues to suck like a vaccuum to say I want the real me to show yet consistently keep doing the same actions, the same sins, over and over again; "I do what I don't want to do and I don't do what I want to do." Oh the tension!!

All I can do now is be humble enough to say I have no clue what to do. I know that God knows what to do in me to mld me into the person and the man he calls me to be. I've been living as the person that I'm comfortable with and the person/man society sees as acceptable.

God, fill in the places that are unfilled, make the rough places smooth, as you state in your Word. I know your promises Lord, and I know you enough to know that you fulfill your promises and don't just make them. I trust you now more than ever. I'm scared out of my head right now, but I know you go before me, I've got the lantern and You've got the map....

---You know, it wouldn't have been that much more to spring for a Garmin. Okay, I'll be quiet and hold the lantern :)---

May there be peace in our lives, may there be strength in us that is not our own. May God take over. May we hold the lantern and find joy in it. A man we make is a fallen one, but the man God has in mind is glorious.